Thursday, May 5, 2011

Writer's Workshop: Unreal Housewife

The prompt I chose this week for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop is:

10 reasons why [ I ] could not be a Real Housewife from any county

1. I do not get my hair and/or nails done more often than once a decade year.

2. I do not have a housekeeper, nor do I do any of the housework myself.

3. I frequently have food/dirt stains on my non-designer jeans.

4. The only "nips" and "tucks" I get are from breastfeeding and hemorrhoids wipes! (Tucks. Get it?)

5. My eyes are as saggy-baggy as my ass jeans.

6. I'm not, like, totally narcissistic.

7. If I had enough money to hire a nanny or housekeeper, I'd probably just go on a shopping spree at Target or Old Navy instead.

8. I shop at Target and Old Navy.

9. I don't have catfights with my "besties." And if I did, they wouldn't be little pansy screeching scratch-fests. 

10. I'm not batshit crazy.

Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. Haha! Funny.#3, me too. Also, #10. Yee ha!

  2. I think #10 really sums it up for me. And yet I can't look away...

  3. I'm along the lines with you for #1 for nails are in a constant state of disrepair to my husband's chagrin!


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