Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Lost In Translation

Other than getting to fondle and dream up all the things I can do with my new toys, my favorite part about getting a shipment of bento stuff is reading the English instructions on the package.

Do not use for purposes other than those originally intended. [Okay. A little wordy, but pretty close.]
Do not put it near the fire to avoid deformation or catching fire. [Umm... If I put it near the fire I get deformed? And catch on fire?]

As it is a small product, be careful not to ingest accidentally, or poke inside the mouth or eyes. [Rats. I wanted to eat it after poking my eyes out!]
To prevent accidental ingestion, never give it to a baby. [Um. DUH.]
On another package:
There is an error drinking danger. Please do not give to the infant no matter what. [.... *blink*... *blinkblink*...]

Please do not put it near the fire.
Please do not use it in oven. [I'm sensing a theme here.]
Please never give it to the baby. There is danger of drinking by mistake. [...]
This product passed the quality inspection. [!!]

Cookie cutters/shapers:
Some sharp parts can be found in this product. Take care not to injure your fingers. Do not use it as play equipment for children. [Okay. Not bad.]
Trimming die for soft food stuff such as dough for confectionary products. [Uhhh... Whuuuck? Actually, I've seen the word 'die' used to mean a shape cutter, like a die-cut.] Cooking use is not allowed for this resin product such as hot cakes and sunny-side up egg since the product is weak against heat.
Heating causes deformations and melting.
Do not place it at the place which will become very hot, in particular near fire.If it is placed near fire, it may be softened and deformed. [Uhh... Wasn't this covered twice already in the places which will be above these words?]
Microwave oven is not allowed to use. [Aww. But the microwave has been working really hard on being more responsible with cookie cutter use lately...]

The best excellent food is homemade cakes in the after. [Ur?]
Wash it carefully before use it.
Wash and wipe very well after use it and keep it dry. [It I will it wash it it it.]
Be careful not to injure fingers and hands in a section. [In a section of what?]
Do not use it besides an original use. [So no copying other people's ideas!]
When take off a staple of a stapler, be careful not to injure hands and fingers. [Seems a little off topic, but this packaging had the plastic blister stapled to the cardboard hang tag, rather than glued. But still...]

Silicone cups/containers:
Best used for lunches providing a pliable fit. [My lunches usually have a pliable fit... in my thighs!]
Washable and reusable mean greater savings. [Uh, no. 'Washable' means you can clean it, and 'reusable' means you don't have to throw it out... neither of those words mean 'greater savings.']
Product may have a peculiar odor of silicone at first. [Charming.] It will gradually fade out, and it is sanitarily harmless. [Is 'sanitarily' even a word?]
Wash with dishwashing detergent before primal use. [Rawr. Primal.]

Bento boxes:
Mostly they say the same stuff. Avoid heat, handwash, etc. Except one. One was all in Japanese, except the words "Sheep Lube" [... Needless to say, I didn't buy that one.]

I'll update periodically, as I add to my hoard of bento supplies.

1 comment:

  1. That's hilarous - literally giggling like a schoolgirl here. :o)


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